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 broken spirits, broken me, tag: jamie/kay
lucille devereux
 Posted: Aug 10 2015, 12:41 PM
Quote
Mooshi
YOU CAN CALL ME

18 YEARS OLD
Barista & Student
Oh crazy's what they think about me. Aint gonna stop cause they tell me so. Cause 99 miles per hr baby is how fast that I like to go. Can't keep up with my rhythm though they keep trying. Too quick for the lines they throw. I walk to the sound of my own drum.










ashamed
i let myself go

tagged: Jamie/kay
words: 1053
Lucille sat on the linoleum floor of the bathroom huddled in the corner near the bath tub, arms wrapped around her knees in which were pressed tightly to her chest. No matter how many deep breaths she took, she couldn’t stop shaking. The room was still spinning around her, and her mind was in a haze. Her vision was blurred, but she knew that was only because of the tears that seemed to spring from her eyes. Through the bathroom door, she could hear the party going on outside of it. All those college students playing beer pong, dancing, drinking like there was no tomorrow, acting like complete idiots at a fraternity house. She should have known….she should have known that coming to the party would be a mistake. But Lucille had gone anyway, being taken by her friend whom wasn’t really a good friend apparently as she couldn’t find her anywhere. But then again, Lucille could barely walk right now to try and find her anyway. Lucille had told her friend to stay with her. “Please don’t leave me”, she had pleaded before coming to the party, and of course her friend had agreed to that. But once they had gotten to the party, Lucille was on her own with an alcoholic beverage she was stupid enough to leave unattended. After that, it was all a blur. She could remember a guy taking her by the hand and bringing her upstairs to one of the bedrooms. But despite her not wanting to go, her body had been so weak that she couldn’t pull away from him. She had protested, and he smooth talked his way into her confused thoughts. He had closed the door behind them and helped Lucille to the bed.

Lucille could hear the knocking on the door now, his voice telling her to come out of the bathroom. Lucille looked up as she so so hard on the bottom of her lip that it hurt. She had locked herself in with good reason. Lucille swallowed hard, as tears continued to fall down her warm cheeks leaving stains that she wasn’t sure would ever go away. She could remember his hands on her thighs. She could remember him taking off her panties beneath her long black frilly skirt. She could remember him on top of her, and her attempting to lift her hands to push him away, but she felt lifeless. Her limps had been so heavy, and that bed had felt so comfortable. She could remember him telling her to calm down and relax. She could remember him unzipping his jeans and whispering into her ear that everything was going to be okay. It was then that she had enough strength to push roll onto her side and fall off the bed. She couldn’t remember how she had made it to the door or into the bathroom, but she was safe now. Away from him. Away from the man that had almost raped her. The thought made her feel disgusting. How could she have ever been so damn stupid.

“Lucy, come on. You are holding up the bathroom. You have to come out of there sooner or later.” She could hear the man say past the threshold. Lucille unwrapped her arms from her knees and lifted her hands over her ears to hide the sound of his voice. She rocked back and forth, letting the tears fall. She felt like she was going to puke. Felt like she was the lowest of all low right now. She had been in the bathroom for what had seemed like forever. And the moment she could actually pick up her phone and dial a number, the first person she had called was Jamie. Their conversation was short. She was surprised he had even understood her over the constant sobs. She had told him that she had made a mistake, and she was at the frat house on Vivian Rd on campus. The one person that had come to mind was Jamie. Not her brother Max. If he had known what had happened, he would have scolded her. Told her that she had been stupid for putting herself into a position like that. Besides, it was more than embarrassing. She didn’t want to tell her brother she was almost raped. Didn’t want to tell him that she had snuck out of the house at 2am to go to a party she wasn’t even allowed to go to. Jamie was the one she called. She knew he would come and get her. Now it was just a waiting game. She prayed that Jamie would hurry. Despite the lock on the door, she didn’t feel safe. How could she? The man that had touched her was on the outside of that door.

She squirmed out of her position and lifted the seat of the toilet, sticking her face down into it as liquids spewed from her mouth. Thoughts of his hands running over her breasts. His hands slipping beneath her skirt to prepare her for what he was going to do to her. How could he think that was okay? How could anyone think that it was alright to force sex onto someone. Lucille pulled on the toilet paper roll, ripping a piece away to wipe her mouth and toss the piece of paper into the toilet. She flushed it and sat back in that same huddled position. She thought throwing up would make her feel better, but it didn’t. She was still dirty. She wanted to take a shower. Wanting to wash away what he had done to her.

“Lucille, open the door.” She looked up as the door knob rattled loudly. The man was getting aggravated. She could hear it in his voice which only made her more scared. With how large he was, a football player for the university is what he had told her he was, he could easily break down the door. But would he? He was drunk too. People do stupid things when they are drunk. Lucille was making excuses for him. Making herself try and feel better about what had happened, but that wasn’t going to cut it. She was sexually assaulted, and no one can ever forget that.

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jamie quinn
 Posted: Aug 12 2015, 02:32 AM
Quote
Kay
YOU CAN CALL ME

37 YEARS OLD
Firefighter
"But I wonder where were you? When I was at my worst Down on my knees And you said you had my back So I wonder where were you? When all the roads you took came back to me."


you've been up and down down
It had been fairly late when his phone had woken him from a dead sleep. Jamie had perched himself up onto his forearm, rubbing his eyes with his free hand in an attempt to make out the red numbers on his clock. He’d soon given up and answered his phone only to hear a barely recognizable voice from the other end. In a fit of confusion, Jamie had been tempted to just hang up and go back to sleep but thankfully he had looked at his phone to see that it was Lucille. After a few moments of coaxing, he had finally managed to get a location out of her and he’d told her to keep her phone close. When they’d hung up, Jamie had hurried out of bed discarding his pajama pants for a pair of boot cut jeans and adding a simple short sleeve dark blue firehouse shirt with the small logo over his right peck, and last name along his back. And with that he’d rushed out to his truck and sped off towards the campus.

Surprisingly enough, the traffic was low enough to allow him to get to the university campus in a record amount of time. Jamie was grateful that Kaela had taken him on a ride around the city. He had neglected to do so when he’d first moved there and had been so caught up with work and his house that he hadn’t even bothered to do it himself. But earlier this week his friend had come over and driven him around showing him some of the main points of Miami, one being the university.

Jamie hadn’t gotten the frat house name from Lucille when she’d had him on the phone, but he could tell as he pulled up along the buildings which one was having the party. The parking was ridiculous out front and Jamie opted for pulling up along the sidewalk, not minding the dirty stares and aggravated shouts from the people that had brought the party outside. He hopped out of the truck and after a quick sweep of the faces outside, made his way into the loud house.

The music was obnoxiously loud and the body count was absolutely ridiculous. Definitely over the maximum safety limit. Strange how in any situation, regular training from back when he’d first become a firefighter came to him. As he forced his way through the dancing bodies, Jamie scanned the crowd for a familiar face. He could smell the alcohol in each and every cup as he passed, mixed with the sweat of the dancers. Jamie was also pretty positive that he got a whiff of weed. Why would Lucille be at a party like this? He knew she was young and when he was that age he always looked for a good time too, but she just didn’t seem like someone that would attend something like this. It just seemed…lower than her.

The man was two seconds away from beginning to shout out her name, realizing that searching for her like this was absolutely hopeless. But he could remember that it had been silent over the phone, as if she had been tucked away in a separate room away from this wild party. And with the way she sounded, perhaps she was still in there. Maybe a bedroom, or bathroom. It didn’t take long for him to reach the stairs and climb up, maneuvering his way around the couples nearly reaching the point of intercourse on the staircase.

As he rounded the top corner of the stairs Jamie could hear someone banging on a door. It would have gone completely ignored had the boy not shouted out a familiar name. He caught sight of the young frat boy banging on what appeared to be the bathroom door shouting out to Lucille for her to open the door. Jamie made his way over, the crowd a bit less thick upstairs. The guy didn’t notice him as he approached and Jamie stepped up beside him, almost completely gliding between the other male and the bathroom door. ”Why don’t you just back up, alright?” Ignoring any aggressive response the guy surely had, Jamie turned and knocked on the door. ”Lucille. Lucille it’s Jamie, open the door.”

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lucille devereux
 Posted: Aug 12 2015, 02:56 AM
Quote
Mooshi
YOU CAN CALL ME

18 YEARS OLD
Barista & Student
Oh crazy's what they think about me. Aint gonna stop cause they tell me so. Cause 99 miles per hr baby is how fast that I like to go. Can't keep up with my rhythm though they keep trying. Too quick for the lines they throw. I walk to the sound of my own drum.










ashamed
i let myself go

tagged: Jamie/kay
words: 331
As she heard Jamie’s voice, all she felt was an instant relief wash over her. He was here, which meant that she didn’t have to be afraid anymore. Lucille slowly stood up, lifting her arm to cross over her stomach and cup her other elbow. She swallowed hard as she finally made it to the door, whatever the guy giving her still in her system making her rather dizzy. She reached for the door handle, opening the door and letting Jamie in. Once he was inside the room with her, her eyes welled up in tears again. The shaking of her petite body had never stopped, and as much as she wanted to curl her face into his chest and let him hold her allowing all of the memories of the night to just go away, she felt sick again and had to sit down. She slowly turned and moved towards the toilet seat, dropping the lid and sitting on top of it.

Lucille leaned forward, elbows on her knees and bringing her hand up to her face to connect them at her mouth. She could feel the warm tears fall again, and she sniffled as she put her face into her hands not wanting to look at Jamie. What was she supposed to say? This was all her fault. This had happened because she had been stupid. She had been careless. As she pulled her hands away from her face, slight sobs began to fall from her mouth. ”I...I’m sorry for waking you up this late. I know you were sleeping. I...I just didn’t know who else to call.” She shook her head. ”I was afraid to call Max. He just...he wouldn’t understand.” And what was there to understand? She had messed up once again. ”This is all my fault.” She shook her head, leaning down to rest it on her hand again as the tears continued to fall.

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jamie quinn
 Posted: Aug 12 2015, 03:15 AM
Quote
Kay
YOU CAN CALL ME

37 YEARS OLD
Firefighter
"But I wonder where were you? When I was at my worst Down on my knees And you said you had my back So I wonder where were you? When all the roads you took came back to me."


you've been up and down down
The moment the door opened, Jamie slid his way inside slamming it behind him knowing full well that the man that had initially been banging on the door had attempted to follow him in. He flicked the lock, eyeing the door suspiciously at the stranger’s actions, and hoping that his locking the door would let the other guy know that he should leave them alone. His mind immediately returned to Lucille, turning around to face her having the urge to pull her into a hug but she was already turned away from him and settling herself onto the toilet seat. He watched her for a moment, a soft sigh escaping his lungs before following after her. Jamie could tell that she was crying and he took a seat across from her on the edge of the bathtub. It was a pretty small bathroom for being in a fraternity house, but it kept a small distance between them from where they sat.

As she began to sob, Jamie reached forward placing a hand on her knee, hoping that the slight touch would sooth her in some way. The man just shook his head as she was apologizing. He wasn’t even thinking about that anymore, and he was grateful that she had decided to call him over Max. Max would already be dragging her out of this house and he would be scolding her the entire way home. She didn’t need that. She needed comforting because by the looks of it, she already knew she had done wrong by coming here.

Just before Jamie could speak, he heard the banging on the door begin again. His attention shot up to the wooden frame where he could hear the male on the other side shouting for them to come out. He could tell the guy was intoxicated and shook his head, chalking his lack of manners up to over intoxication. Blue eyes quickly returned to Lucille and he reached out with his free hand to grab the wrist of the hand she was using to cover her face. ”Hey. Listen to me.” Jamie let his hand slip from her knee and cupped it over her cheek, brushing her hair back behind her ear before letting his palm rest just under her ear against her neck. ”Nothing is your fault. You just came to a stupid party and drank a little more than you should have. You’re a teenager. It’s what you are supposed to do.” He offered her a smile which quickly faded into a glare at the door as the knocks became more demanding. ”Let’s get out of here, alright?”


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lucille devereux
 Posted: Aug 12 2015, 04:11 AM
Quote
Mooshi
YOU CAN CALL ME

18 YEARS OLD
Barista & Student
Oh crazy's what they think about me. Aint gonna stop cause they tell me so. Cause 99 miles per hr baby is how fast that I like to go. Can't keep up with my rhythm though they keep trying. Too quick for the lines they throw. I walk to the sound of my own drum.










ashamed
i let myself go

tagged: Jamie/kay
words: 539
She could feel him come closer to her. The creaking of the tub made her aware that he was now sitting across from her. She could feel his hand on her knee, and although that comfort felt nice, it wasn’t enough to pull her from those constant thoughts that now plagued her mind. The banging on the door made Lucille jump. God she just wished it would stop. All of it would just stop. But it wasn’t going to. When she left this bathroom, she’d still have to face the man that had assaulted her, and that scared her more than anything.

She could feel Jamie’s hand curl gently around her wrist pulling it away from her face. She sniffled as his other hand left her knee and pressed gently against her cheek to cup it. Her eyes closed as she took in a deep breath. His hand was warm on her cheek, and despite everything that was going on, it made her heart race. Lucille opened her eyes to look over at him. Her hair was brushed aside, and she could feel the lump in her throat grow once again as tears fell from her bloodshot eyes. If only that was all that happened. If only she had just come to a stupid party where she had drank too much. But the fact of the matter was she hadn’t drank too much. She was drugged and almost raped. But how could she tell that to Jamie. Maybe she should just keep it to herself. Deal with it on her own like she did everything else. Put on this fake smile to the world, just like she always did.

His smile was sweet. His touch was needed. But when he asked her if she wanted to leave the party, a slight frown fell over her features, and as much as she tried to hide it by looking away from him, she knew he had seen that slight hesitation. She was afraid. Jamie was there, and she was still afraid of the man just outside the door. But she had to get out of there. She just wanted to curl up in bed and cry. Maybe if she cried hard enough, she could cry away how horrible she felt.

After a few moments, Lucille let out a small sigh and sat up, lifting her hands to wipe away her tears. She knew the eye liner and mascara she had been wearing was all over her face, but she didn’t care one bit. That was the last thing that was on her mind. She looked at him and nodded, slowly standing up. As she stood, her legs felt like rubber, and her entire body was shaking like a leaf. She closed her eyes, reaching out to grip Jamie’s arm for support. He had to know this wasn’t drunk symptoms, and she worried about that. What if he found out what had happened? What if he already knew? God she felt so weak. She slowly walked with Jamie to the door, and once they reached the door, she stopped staring at its frame. She didn’t want to walk out that door. Didn’t want to face him.

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jamie quinn
 Posted: Aug 12 2015, 04:48 AM
Quote
Kay
YOU CAN CALL ME

37 YEARS OLD
Firefighter
"But I wonder where were you? When I was at my worst Down on my knees And you said you had my back So I wonder where were you? When all the roads you took came back to me."


you've been up and down down
It was concerning seeing that bit of hesitation after he’d asked if she wanted to leave. But Jamie assumed that it had something to do with going home to deal with Max. But Jamie and Lucille had been through this before. He had picked her up when she was stumbling drunk and taken her back to his place so she could sleep it off. Perhaps she was worried that he wouldn’t let her do that again. Before he could reassure her, Lucy was already standing up and wiping away her tears. He responded to her nod with one of his own and moved closer when he saw her reach out for his arm. She seemed to be a little more than drunk, but the man really didn’t even want to think about Lucille tampering with any kind of drug. He’d seen some pretty crazy reactions to drug use while on the job and he really didn’t want to think that Lucille was into any of that.

When Lucille didn’t open the door, Jamie gave her arm a squeeze with his free hand before reaching out and grabbing the doorknob. He flicked the lock and opened the door to find, with no real surprise, the guy still out there appearing to have been pacing back and forth while he wasn’t banging on the door. The moment the two of them were out of the bathroom a girl nearly knocked them both over to get in there, and soon after the original male was approaching. Jamie took a deep breath ready to guide Lucille around this manic drunk without any trouble.

”Whatever she told you man is a fucking lie! I didn’t do anything.” The words made the man pause, glancing back over his shoulder to the younger college kid. His brows furrowed before glancing down at Lucille by his side. Could he still chalk this up to a drunken rant? The man took a deep breath and continued to walk with Lucille by his side. This guy was acting like a lunatic and all that was on Jamie’s mind right now was getting Lucy out of this house.

As they walked down the stairs, Jamie practically carrying Lucille, he could hear the guy behind them practically yelling at someone else. Good. His attention was being held elsewhere. Finally the two of them made it to the frat house door and luckily someone was opening it to come back inside and Jamie slipped out with Lucille next to him. Outside was like a rush of fresh air, cool compared to the stuffy house inside. On their way to his nearby truck, Jamie heard the door to the frat house open again and he glanced over his shoulder to see that the guy had indeed followed them out. The clenched his teeth, jaw flexing, but he returned his attention to getting Lucille home.

”Hey, what did she say bro?” The two finally reached the truck and Jamie used his free hand to guide her hands away from his other arm, pausing a moment to make sure that she wasn’t going to fall without his support. ”She asked for it. She wanted it, man.” There was his answer. This was not just a drunken rant, something had happened. Something had happened to her. Instead of opening the truck door as planned, Jamie turned to face the guy, taking a step forward. ”What?” The guy began a nervous bout of laughter. ”I’m just saying, she came on to me. It’s not my fault the bitch is a tease.”


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lucille devereux
 Posted: Aug 13 2015, 10:47 AM
Quote
Mooshi
YOU CAN CALL ME

18 YEARS OLD
Barista & Student
Oh crazy's what they think about me. Aint gonna stop cause they tell me so. Cause 99 miles per hr baby is how fast that I like to go. Can't keep up with my rhythm though they keep trying. Too quick for the lines they throw. I walk to the sound of my own drum.










ashamed
i let myself go

tagged: Jamie/kay
words: 722
Jamie gave her arm a tight squeeze as if to tell her that things would be okay once they walked out that door, but the truth was, they wouldn’t be. The man would say things that she wasn’t prepared for. Say things that would make her feel the lowest of all low, and she wasn’t ready for that. But she wanted out of here. She wanted to be home, curled up in a bed where she could cry herself to sleep. Her eyes quickly lifted to the door as Jamie’s hand reached out to unlock it and twist it open. Her heart was racing and she found herself curling into him as they made their way out of the bathroom. A girl squeezed by them, causing Lucille to move closer to Jamie. She wondered if he was bothered by how close she was to him right now, but honestly she didn’t care. She needed to feel safe, and the only way she could is if she was in his arms.

The man’s voice could be heard, and she swallowed hard to choke down the lump in her throat that she could feel rising. She didn’t want to cry right now. Didn’t want to show that weakness, but she could feel the tears coming down again, and despite the fact that Jamie had looked at her, she didn’t look up to acknowledge anything that the man was saying. She buried her face in his chest as they walked past the guy who had touched her in ways that she could never want to be touched by a stranger.

They were down the stairs and out the door in less time than Lucille thought it would take. But that was only because she was not really paying attention to where they were going. Jamie had had such a tight hold on her, that she was unable to really see what was going on around her, which was fine with her. She didn’t want to see that guy, nor did she want to deal with the stares of all the other party goers. And as they finally reached the grass, Lucy felt like she could finally breathe again. The cool breeze hit her damp cheeks making her shiver slightly, but it felt nice to be away from the situation she had put herself in.

But she wasn’t away from it at all. She could hear the man’s voice behind him, and she found herself speeding up towards the familiar truck parked along the sidewalk. She just wanted to go home. Wanted to be away from the guy who was surely following them with good reason. She knew that he was worried that Lucille would say something about what had happened, but right now, that was the last thing on her mind. She just wanted to leave and never come back. Never see his face again. But then those words that she feared could be heard slipping from the man’s mouth. Words that she knew she would hear eventually. “She asked for it. She wanted it man.” Lucille swallowed hard as the two of them stopped dead in their tracks. Jamie’s hands let go of her and she leaned forward against the truck. She could feel him pulling himself away from her, and the loneliness followed her once again. She wanted to say something. Wanted to stop whatever was about to happen. She just wanted to go home. ”J..Jamie let’s just go.” She said rather weak. She could hear the guy speaking once again, and he was saying some awful things to Jamie about her. God, she didn’t want him to know. It was too embarrassing. She was so ashamed that she had let things go that far. Granted she was drugged, she was stupid enough to leave her drink unattended.

Lucille reached out to grab at Jamie’s arm, but it slid out of her grasp so easily with how weak she was. ”I...I just wanna go home.” She pleaded, but she knew that Jamie could tell this wasn’t just a drunken night again. The guy had done something to Lucille. It had been clear by the guy’s words, and she knew Jamie wasn’t going to leave things the way they were.

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jamie quinn
 Posted: Aug 13 2015, 11:11 PM
Quote
Kay
YOU CAN CALL ME

37 YEARS OLD
Firefighter
"But I wonder where were you? When I was at my worst Down on my knees And you said you had my back So I wonder where were you? When all the roads you took came back to me."


you've been up and down down
He could barely feel the weakened grip wrapping itself around his arm, or even as it slipped off as he stepped away from Lucille. In fact, he wasn’t quite sure what was happening at all. It felt as if Jamie was watching what was going on from a distance. As if he wasn’t really the one who threw the first punch, landing a heavy fist against the college boys jaw. This wasn’t him. It couldn’t be him. He wouldn’t have thrown another punch the second the younger male had begun to retaliate. Yet he did, this time knocking the intoxicated kid to the ground.

It was strange; as if the moment the signs had pieced themselves together, he had broken apart. Only able to fully experience what was going on from high above, unable to intervene. It wasn’t until he felt the familiar crack of a punch against his stomach that formed the pieces back together, knocking him back into the moment and nearly onto the ground. In that moment, he almost wished he could have stayed at that safe distance. His heart was pounding as if he had just rushed into a burning building: his face warm, as if a fire burned just inches away. He was infuriated. Something had happened that night and Jamie hadn’t been there for Lucille until it was too late. Something that this guy had done, and all that was running through his mind was that he had to pay. This was why Lucille appeared to be so unstable. She probably had drugs coursing through her system right now and was still confused as to what had happened. Hell, Jamie was confused but only the worst assumptions could be made based on her condition and the guy’s comments.

The blow to Jamie’s stomach made him stumble back but he pushed forward grabbing ahold of the other man’s shirt, yanking him down off his feet and onto the ground. He raised a clenched fist only to slam it down onto the guy’s cheek. The student landed one more hard punch against the side of Jamie’s face in an attempt to fend of the repetitive blows that now came from his attacker. Even as the guy raised his hands no longer trying to fight but showing his defeat, Jamie couldn’t stop. This person deserved so much more than what Jamie was giving to him, but he would just have to try.

Two pairs of heavy hands grabbed onto his upper arms, yanking Jamie back away from the beaten kid. As he shook his arms, forcing himself away from the two new people, he turned as if ready to defend off another attack but the two of them simply raised their hands before moving around him to help up the other guy. Jamie could feel his heart beginning to steady out, his breathing heavy as the adrenaline slowed bringing his body back to equilibrium. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the effects of his actions and he clenched his teeth feeling sick to his stomach when he realized he didn’t want to stop. That kid shouldn’t be walking. But his attention quickly fell on the girl behind him.

Without meeting her gaze Jamie turned, yanking his truck door open and practically picking her up to help her inside. He slammed the door and turned back around, pointing at the bruised and bloodied guy being supported by the other two. ”You’re done.” He tightened his jaw muscles, swallowing hard before walking around the front of his truck, climbing inside and peeling out of the campus.


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