❝ How about you tell me a little about yourself and why you're here? ❞
Ain't that what's on that clipboard on your lap there? Whatever. Am Major Landon Sharpe, well... I was before I was honorably discharged. I was born an' raised in Monroe, Michigan as the oldest son of the mayor which obviously came with it's responsibilities and expectations but the bottom line was just that he wanted us to be successful and accomplished. My mother fit the position of 'first lady of Monroe' like a glove, she established her own charity and is this perfect model citizen, they're both pretty awesome. The only one left to talk about is my baby sister, Gwen; I say baby even though she's a 25 year old woman but to me she'll always be my baby sister, I pretty sure she hates that but what can you do?
❝ And how do you feel about your family? ❞
Really, is this whole session gonna be a 'how do you feel about that' deal, is that the only question they teach you when you study psych? -sighs- I love my whole family in my own way, my old man and me have had a fairly tense relationship since I enlisted, he expected me to go off to college and make something of myself and throwing myself in the military was about the opposite to what he wanted for me and our relationship had never recovered since then. My mother wasn't particularly supportive of my decision either but for different, motherly reasons; she didn't want to see her only son shipped off to a war zone. As much as my mom hated the idea of me enlisting she never once tried to stop me, she just made me promise I would stay safe and come back in one piece. I always came back so I kept that half of the promise but I'm quite sure I've lost plenty of pieces along the way. And then there's Gwen, growing up we were super close, we could talk to each other about anything and everything, she was the first person I told when I was considering enlisting, the person I turned to when I was having troubles with my girlfriend and I knew she'd help me fix whatever screw up I'd made. She was my person, simple as that. It was hard being away from home and away from her because I was always super protective and it's kind of hard to be protective of someone when you're on the other side of the world but I tried. I wrote as often as I could and we spoke on the phone when we could but it was never easy with the time difference and her being so busy at school and college. I guess over the years we've just drifted apart a fair bit. And before you ask me how that feels. It feels crap, and I want to fix it but I don't know how because I'm not the same person she waved off the day I went to training.
❝ So, you avoided the question of why you're here? ❞
Because you already know why I'm here. PTSD, It's why I'm here in the states and why I'm here in therapy, even though I think this is bull shit. But after what happened I'm willing to try anything to try and fix it.
❝ And what happened? I know I already know, but... in your words and mind? ❞
I attacked the woman I love. What else is there to say? I pinned her to the bed and tried to choke the life out of her and the only reason I didn't was because her roommate came in and knocked me out cold. I don't remember it, any of it but when I came around she was coughing and crying and couldn't even look at me because she was terrified of me and rightly so, I'm a monster. I'm not the person I used to be anymore. I'm angry all the time, I've been in more bar brawls since I've been home than I have in my whole life and every time I get this rage block where I don't even know what I'm doing until I come back around in the back of a cop car with my hands cuffed behind my back.
❝Can you describe yourself before these things started to happen ❞
Depends what you mean by 'these things' things got out of control after the ambush and after I was discharged but I think each tour changed me and chipped something of me away. Before it all I'd say I was just an average guy, overly sarcastic, level headed, easy going, I don't know, just a normal happy guy? What was not to be happy about? I had a beautiful girlfriend who loved me and I loved her, a great family and I was excited to serve my country. Life was good. It was good even when I did my first few tours, they took their tole on me but didn't knock down my spirits. It was as I went up in ranks and as I got more losses of friends that I really started to notice that my happiness when I came home was more and more put on. I never used to be an angry person, and I can't really pin point when I started to become one but now I feel I'm angry all the time and it's since the ambush that the anger has become all but consuming.
❝ Tell me about the ambush ❞
We were sent in as cover for a forward medical team 25 of us and 10 injured on the ground, we were going to rescue our wounded, it was a get in get out mission. Except we didn't get out on time. The ambush came from no where. There were 35 of us, and they just opened fire. 35 and 34 of those good men and women are now buried in the ground. Good men and women I was supposed to protect and I'm the only one still here. Fuck this. It's bull shit. I'm not talking about this. I knew this was a fucking stupid idea.